Re-do of paragraph 2

Imogene's thoughts were suddenly interupted by the ticket lady saying to her "excuse me hen, can I see your ticket?" She quickly fumbled around in her bag until she finally recovered it from the bottomless pit of a bag. The train stopped at Paisley Station and a woman and her young son got on and sat down in the seats next to Imogene. The young boy, who couldn't be more than two, had obviously just finished eating a bar of chocolate as half of it was now sticking to his fingers and face. The little boy said "Mummy I don't feel well, I've got a sore tummy", and to Imogene's utmost horror he preceded by being sick all over her trousers. He started howling and crying. Imogene didn't know what to do, this was her first day at her new job and wanted to make a good first impression. She got up and ran to the toilets muttering words of anger and disgust as she went. She sat in the toilets with a big wad of toilet paper, scrubbing away at the stain, praying that it would come off. Unfortunately, to her dismay it didn't, and was then left with a large brown and wet patch on the trousers.

Paragraph 2

"Excuse me hen, can I see your ticket?" Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted. She fumbled around in her bag until she finally recovered her ticket from the bottomless pit of a bag. The train was slowing down coming into a station. A mother and her young son got on and sat down in the seats next to Imogene. The boy had obviously just had some form of chocolate bar as half it's contents were now sticking to his fingers and face. "Mummy i don't feel well", and to Imogene's utmost horror was thrown up on by the boy which was then followed by howling and crying! Imogene didn't move, not knowing what to do or say. The mother was trying to comfort the boy while being as apologetic as possible to Imogene. She ran to the toilets to try and wash her clothes but was left with a large brown and wet patch on her trousers.

Re-do of 1st paragraph

Imogene sat on the crowded train heading for Queen St. Station. It was her first day of her new job as a receptionist. The train was silent apart from the odd turn of a newspaper or beep of a computer from the daily commuters who spent most of their lives going to and from work. Imogene sat uncomfortably crossing and uncrossing her legs and twiddling the tassels at the end of her woolly scarf. She sifted through her paper but couldn't concentrate enough to read a whole article. She gazed around the carriage studying each bored tired face then gradually drifted off into her own imagination.

Introducing character

Imogen sat on the train on her way to her new job. It was silent apart from the odd turn of a newspaper or beep of a computer from the daily commuters who spent most of their lives going to and from work. Imogen twitched nervously, twiddling the tassels at the end of her woolly scarf. She sifted through her paper but couldn't concentrate enough to read a whole article. She gazed around the carriage studying each bored and tired looking face then gradually drifted off into her own imagination.

Saskatchewan- Conclusion

The story finishes with Marsali dancing. We presume that she wins the competition because her main competitor is put out through injury. While she dances she thinks “This is for you, Jeannie Maclean, with your wounded foot, your treacherous swords and your angry mom.” Marsali and Jeannie‘s relationship will continue as they grow older because Marsali thinks “one day I will go to Saskatchewan.” All the relationships in this story are formed around the love of highland dancing.

Paragraph 5

We do not hear a lot about Jeannie and Marsali’s relationship. At the start of the story Marsali really does not like Jeannie because she is her competition and she can see how good she is in comparison to Marsali. She thinks that Jeannie should not be allowed in the competition because she was a late entry, “The rules say entries in advance.” However as we read through the story Marsali’s opinion of Jeannie changes. She begins to feel sorry for her when she sees her mother and is thankful for her parents always supporting her but not being too pushy. While she is dancing she thinks “This is for you, Jeannie Maclean, with your wounded foot, your treacherous swords and your angry mom.”

Paragraph 4

In the story Jeannie and her mother’s relationship is very different to that of Marsali and her parents. Jeannie’s mother is always pushing her to do her best but also to win as many things as possible. It doesn’t seem to bother Jeannie that her mother is this pushy, she is just trying to please her. “I need to win today, mom’s outside.” It seems that her mother is sometimes more interested in winning the competition than the well being of her daughter. When she realises that Jeannie is hurt she “is shouting behind me instead of going down to her injured daughter, ‘you damn fool!” Her mother is angry at Jeannie for falling even though it’s not Jeannie’s fault. “ I can see a shadow slumped on the canvas, another shadow hanging over it, an arm raised.”

Paragraph 3

The relationship between Marsali and her mother isn't as intense as Marsali and her father's. Her mother does support her but she is just not as interested in the games and the island community. When Marsali is practicing her dancing her mother is normally in the room directly below Marsali's bedroom and claims that "the ceiling in the sitting-room will come down on top her." She sometimes seems more concerned about what is on the television than Marsali. "As she watches a soap."But when it finally comes to games day "Mother is on the hill side waving."

Re-do of paragraph 2

Marsali and her father's relationship in the story shows that they are very close. When Marsali is lying in her bed she can visualize what her father is doing in the bathroom just by listening. "The rasp of his razor" and hearing him "slap" on the old spice that she had bought him for his christmas. " Singing a Gaelic song" he speaks Gaelic and he has taught her how to aswell. They have a special bond that Marsali and her mother don't have because "she's from the mainland." Her father is very interested in the local games and Marsali's highland dancing because he has been brought up with it.

Saskatchewan paragraph 2

Choose a short story which gives you an insight into the way people relate to one another. Consider how the writer uses language, the senses, descriptive or any other feature to convey the insights to the reader.

Marsali and her father's relationship in the story shows they are very close. When Marsali is in her bed she can tell exactly what her father is doing in the bathroom just by listening. "The rasp of his razor as he shaves." " He rinses his razor under the tap and I hear the Old Spice I gave him for his Christmas being slapped on." He always encourages her to do her best and supports her in her Highland Dancing.

Saskatchewan- first paragraph.

Saskatchewan is a short story written by Lorn Macintyre. The story tells us of the life of a young girl, Marsali, who lives on an island in Scotland with her mother and father. She dreams of winning the sword dance at the local highland games. We learn of the friendship she forms with a Canadian dancer and the consequences of that friendship.

Introducing Wildbank

Hello, my name is wildbank. I have just started being tutored by Mrs McIntosh (aka Mrs Blethers) and hope that by using blogging with its immediacy and real audience i will be motivated and kick my habit of not being able to finish essays.

We will also be looking at critical essays and interpretation but we don't know how far the blog will help with that.

Constructive comments are always welcome!